I’m frustrated with a current list of physical issues. These are issues which have grumbled on for years, YEARS! Not content with staying grumbling these feelings have decided to start yelping and squeaking and even, occasionally, screaming. It’s clear whatever is going on now needs to be noticed. Herein lies my frustration. I notice them, of course I do. I notice how I’m limited in what I choose to do because of them – the gremlins.
So, in the style of Snow White and her 7 dwarves, let’s have a look at Mad Mum and her 6 gremlins.
- FATIGUEY. This fella is the daddy of feeling absolutely kak.
2. ITCHY. She’s really come into her own recently, she has quite a flare for distressing me and changing my routine.
3 and 4. The twins: WEIGHT GAINY and HUNGRY. These two… I tell ya, working together they are a formidable force.
5. SWEATY. He likes to keep himself busy, day and night.
6. MISERY. This fella hitches a ride with the others but is oh-so powerful. Suddenly everything becomes impossible when Misery is in town. Some how Misery tap dances his way all over everything.
All of this leaves me feeling pretty fed up-y.
Joking aside, I feel as if I am battling my body. I don’t know why it’s turned on me at a time in my life when I’m the healthiest that I’ve ever been. I can understand why the doctors aren’t taking me seriously. Sorry, you say you have fatigue but you run? It’s a conundrum doc, I know but we don’t have time for me to explain unfortunately.
Seeing as how there isn’t time in GP appointments I’m trying to be efficient. For the last appointment I wrote bullet points of each symptom, to be succinct and avoid my blabbering. The GP seemed so disinterested. I didn’t know what particular thing made her decide to be disinterested – my BPD diagnosis? My desperate wittering (I told her I’d lick a badger if she told me it might help)? The fact I’ve already been to the GP repeatedly? All of the above? None of the above? Whatever, it doesn’t really matter.
Whilst I’m waiting I’ll keep trying to learn, to educate myself about physiology and how everything works together. It’ll all be helpful in my learning for my reflexology and you never even know, maybe I’ll even be so busy I’ll forget about the gremlins and actually get some running in.